My NFL Grammys

Ramblings and Rants, Tiffany Orbin

The Grammys were held Sunday night, filling our TV screens with mindless awards and bizarre performances.  How did Dave Grohl ever agree to appear on the same stage as Deadmau5?

Although recently minted Super Bowl champions Mario Manningham and Victor Cruz made an appearance to present this year’s best rock performance, the Recording Academy forgot to acknowledge the growing number of musically gifted pro football players.  Turns out, the NFL is full of talented musicians ready to start singing and dancing careers when their playing days are over.  Here are a few of them, the winners of my NFL Grammys:

1.  Heaviest Band:  Free Reign

Members include Dallas Cowboys offensive tackle Marc Colombo, Detroit Lions guard Leonard Davis and free agent Corey Procter. Without fourth member, Justin Chapman, the band weighs in at 986 pounds. That’s one big act.

2.  Best Country Crooner:  Ben Utecht

The former TE of the Colts and Bengals retired from the NFL at age 28 before starting his second career as a musician.

3.  Best Prime Time Song:  ”Must Be the Money” by Deion Sanders

He had a Hall of Fame caliber career.  Thus, he can get away with this.

4.  Best Collaborative Song:  ”Fear Da Tigers” by the Cincinnati Bengals and Bootsy Collins

The fact that Cincinnati-born funk legend, Bootsy Collins, agreed to do this deserves an award.

5. Best Christmas Album: “Terry Bradshaw sings Christmas Songs for the Whole Family”

He never ceases to amaze me.

6. Best Transformation Artist: Ta’u Pupu’a

Ta’u Pupu’a was drafted to Bill Belichick’s Cleveland Browns in 1995. After never playing in a game, he left the league and sought after his passion: opera. Anyone who can go from tackling to singing tenor is worthy of being mentioned here.

7. Best Dance Song: “Super Bowl Shuffle” by the Chicago Bears

The lyrics might not be the best part, but a half-million people did pay for this, helping it place in Billboard’s top 50 in 1985. I guess they already won the bigger award when they won the Super Bowl after putting this out in public.

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